Through the good and the not so good..

So things have been going well. Very well. Better than we had expected, certainly. But today, reality hit me. Hard.

Our agency was supposed to take our birth mom to her doctors appt today. She hasn't been going like she should. As a matter of fact, she hasn't been since she was 5 months along. So I called our agency just to make sure that they would remember to call me once she was out. Well, the agency informed me that the birth mom found someone to take her and that the agency didn't need to drive down to pick her up. Well that was my first red flag.

I called the agency to get further information but they just don't know. They have tried to call her but had to leave a message. They promised to call me if they heard from her but I guess that haven't because my phone has not rang.

Now there are a lot of reasons why this may be happening. I think she didn't go to the doctor because she is

1. scared
2. hates OB/GYN appts (who doesn't)
3. is too emotional
4. forgot (not likely with the reminder calls)
5. something is wrong and she doesn't want us to know
6. all of the above
7. none of the above

Now the reason she hasn't called back could very well be because

a. she doesn't want to admit she didn't go
b. can't get to a phone
c. forgot
d. didn't check the messages or realize she was SUPPOSED to call
e. is at work and can't use a phone
f. all of the above
g. none of the above

So this is where I am. Scared. Confused. Angry. I guess this where the patience part comes in. I need to realize there are things in this process that I can not control. Guess I am learning that the hard way.

Fingers crossed - please. I will update as soon as I know more.