OK - I know I was going to post riverfest pics & details but I actually have adoption updates! Imagine that! Adoption updates on my Adoption blog!
I found out last week that, contrary to what I had thought, we DO have to find our own social worker here in KS. They won't make the drive up here. SO what does that mean? Actually, I think it is all good. I asked around a little for references from people I know who have or are trying to adopt but ended up calling that first agency that we found here. Remember. The really expensive one with the great reputation. Well, apparently, their social workers do a little "freelancing" outside the agency. I had to leave a message but was happy with a quick return phone call. We spoke on the phone for probably 20 minutes. She was an absolute doll! She really made me relax about the whole process. The way she explained it to me was that home studies are required for 2 basic reasons. First, the state wants to make sure you are who you say you are. Apparently, years ago, people were adopting under a lot of false pretenses - I mean REALLY lying on applications, etc. This just proves, you live where you say you do, work where you say you do and have the financial capabilities to care for a child. The second reason is that in her words, "A judge can't come to your house." When we go to court to finalize this, the judge wants to know that this child is going to a good family with a nice home who can care for this child. The social worker goes and checks this all out because a judge can't. She said that she understands how daunting this can be but not to worry. She also prefers to do her interviewing and "probing" verbally rather than having us fill out essay style questions. This is a huge selling point to J who can talk for days but write? not so much. (hence his one entry blog!)
She only works part time and seems to be very flexible with her time which was another big seeling point to us. She said it should only take 3 weeks from start to finish! WooHoo! Once we get past the homestudy, we just have to pay another application fee and our activation fee and we are officially waiting! I know that probably sounds like a lot - but not to me. I am very excited! Our adoption class is less than 2 weeks away now - we will schedule our homestudy right after that! So here is what I have to do now:

Figure out some more financing/fundraising.
Start compiling financial records and important documents (birth certificates, marriage licenses, etc.)
Not panic!

I have drafted a Dear Birth Mother letter. I would really appreciate all of you reading this. I welcome any comments or changes. This is probably the most important piece of the puzzle (atleast initially) to help the birth mother chose us to be parents. I have done a lot of research and have found that they should be sincere and should reflect your personality. I tried to interject a little bit of humor into ours which is another suggestion I have read repeatedly. Feel free to post your comments on my blog or e-mail me directly at home or work. Any input would be so greatly appreciated. So, here it is.......

Dear BM,

Although we haven't met, there are things I feel like I know about you.
I know you must be an amazing woman, probably stronger than you realize.
I know that your heart must be filled with the purest love for your child. I won't pretend to understand what a difficult decision you have had to make. I will only promise to always remember you in thoughts and prayers, especially during this difficult time.
I would appreciate the opportunity to tell you a little about myself, my husband, our family and our friends. My name is Jennifer, I am 35 years old with no biological children. I am, however, the proudest step-mother you will ever meet. I will tell you a little more about my daughter a little later. I work for a newspaper doing marketing and public relations working mostly with non-profit agencies to help them educate the general public on many important causes and issues. I am so fortunate to have a job I love ( I have worked for a newspaper since I was 20!)

I am blessed to have been married to my best friend since 1998. My husband is Jay. We are one of those rare couples who just love spending time together. Whether it is walking the dog or camping or just out shopping at Target, we seem to find the fun in everything we do!

Jay works for a local credit management company. It's our little joke that no one really knows what he does. Mostly, he works with people to help them resolve their debt and improve their credit. He is a manager in his company and also works with training of new employees - I think he missed his calling because he would have made a great teacher.Jay gives me a hard time because he is the one that "really works" - I just go out and play all day! yeah, right!

Brooke is our 7 year old daughter. She will be attending second grade next year. She lives with her mom and visits us on weekends and during the summer for vacation. Our time with her is such a joy. We absolutely love being a family. We love playing with her. We walk or ride our bikes to the park at the end of our street. Brooke refers to it as "her" park. Next door to the park is a library - we love to go and check out movies and books or just spend time in there looking around and reading. Almost every weekend with her involves a meal at her favorite neighborhood Chinese Restaurant. I am embarrassed to say that SHE has been eating with chop sticks since she was 3 and I STILL have to use a fork!
Jay and I both believe in instilling confidence in our child - we want them to know how wonderful they are, how beautiful, how intelligent and so on. My favorite Brooke story is when she was 4 years old and we were having dinner at Red Lobster. The waitress told Brooke how cute she was, Brooke just looked up with her big blue eyes and said, "thanks, and I am funny too!"

Our family is rounded out by 2 fur babies - our dog Gordie and our cat Freddie. Both were rescued from the animal shelter. Freddie stays inside and and is completely declawed, he meows once in a blue moon but mostly just sleeps, eats and purrs. Gordie is a mix breed dog. We keep asking him what kind of dog he is but he never gives it up!

We are blessed to be surrounded by a great support system of friends and family. We have lived here for the last 7 years but maintain close relationships with our friends in our home state. Our closest friends all have children - actually all of our friends have children. Our best friends here have 3 children - all boys. They have a 7 yr old son and 5 yr old twins. They are Brooke's best friends! We also have friends who have recently moved here (we are such trendsetters!) - they just bought a house a little north of us and have a son who just turned one! Our other closest friends have a 2 year old son and are expecting their second next year. I, Jennifer, have lots of close girlfriends who have already declared themselves "honorary aunts!' Speaking of aunts & uncles, we have them in abundance, I have a sister and a brother who are both married, with 3 children between them. Zoe is 9, Audrey is 6 and Draven is 10. My sister hopes to be adding a "new cousin" soon. Jay has a sister and brother also. His sister is married and just had a little boy in January of this year. His name is Adam, he is so cute and has already declared me "his favorite aunt."

We are also close to our extended family, grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins of our own. Jay's family gets together once a year at a lake in Texas for a week long camping family reunion. When we get together, there are about 20 young cousins from newborn on up - they swim and play from sunup to sundown! Jay and I both are really close to our parents even though they live in another state, they are never more than a 3 hour drive away! They are all so excited about the arrival of a new grandbaby to spoil!

Jay and I believe strongly in family and raising our family with the highest morals and ethics. I guess we got that from our parents - I can still hear my dad's voice echoing in my head and someday, I hope our children will hear mine when faced with choosing right or choosing wrong. We believe in unconditional love and unconditional support. I never want there to be a time when our child is afraid to tell us anything. That was probably the best thing my parents gave me. No matter how bad the decision I had made or how big of a mistake, I knew that if I was honest, everything would be ok.
Our home will always be filled with love and the knowledge that home is a safe place. I would walk to the ends of the earth and face the greatest demons to protect my family.We may not be the richest family or the smartest family or the one with the biggest home but we have a love that is never-ending and is unconditional. We will continue to pray for you and your child. If you choose us to be part of your family and raise your child, I promise we will do everything in our power to care for him/her and raise him/her knowing what a loving courageous woman his birth mother is and how truly blessed we are to have been chosen with such an honor.

With much love and sincerity,

Jay and Jennifer Lacy