Update and a lot of Venting.

Well we are officially on the web! Our agency has a website and they put waiting families on it for birth mothers who might be cruising the www to check out. It's our Dear BM letter, 3 pictures and answers to lots and lots of questions. There are 3 other families waiting besides us. If you want to check it out, you will have to e-mail me, I don't feel comfortable posting it here.

I know I haven't been a very good blogger lately - sorry about that. It was another rough work week. The only good thing is that I am actually making some good money this year so it makes it a little tough to complain.

Yesterday was really rough. I went to get my hair done and had an awful experience. My stylist knows we are adopting and so she asked me how it was going. I am kinda weird about talking about it with people who I don't know really well so I just told her we had our paperwork done and our homestudy complete and we are just waiting to be matched. She proceeded to ask me why were adopting again and why would we if we had Brooke. She didn't understand and wanted to know if it was me or J. I told her it was both but she just kept saying that doesn't make since. Well, belive me I know. So then she asked if I had ever been pg and miscarried. AUGH! Of course, I told her I had. So she said, well then you can GET pg you just can't stay pg! OMG. I just wanted to leave. So she proceeded to tell me that it was "too bad we HAD to adopt." I told her that I don't understand when people say it is too bad. We want to have a child - we want to be a family. God makes families in lots of different ways - this is the way it is supposed to be for us. She just said, "well I feel bad for you, you know." No, I don't. She went on to ask me if we were going to tell the child. Duh! What kind of parents would we be if we lied to our child his or her whole life. Then she went on to say, I hope you are adopting a white baby. OMG - seriously, if I didn't have a hair full of tin foil, I would have walked right out the door! I did not answer that question but she went on to say how one of her clients HAD to ADOPT a half Hispanic baby and now he wants to change his skin color so he will look like his family. Oh I forgot the best part - she asked if I was scared that when the child was 6 or 7 the REAL mother would come back and take him or her back! I wanted to scream I am the REAL mother - she would be the BIRTH MOTHER. They will be my REAL child not my ADOPTED child. AND the birth mother will sign over parental rights within 2 weeks of the birth. That is the end of that. I am planning on sending pics once a year or more to my agency - they can send them on to the BM (if she wants them.) I told her my new favorite line, "Adoption is not a Lifetime movie."
Can you believe I made it through the appt without crying?? I did.
So then she asked how Brooke felt about the whole thing and does she know. I told her of course she knows, we don't lie to our children (atleast not often hehe). I told her that last weekend Brooke was telling people that her mom is going to have a baby but it is someone else's tummy. :) My stylists said, "oh, I guess she doesn't understand." I just looked at her and said, "no honey, I think it is you that doesn't understand."
Anyone know a good stylist in Wichita???? I don't think I will be going back. Plus, my hair looks like crap - she told me it was getting too blonde (i don't think it is blonde enough) so she put brown in it. I hate it.

OK - enough venting!!!! J was off yesterday and got the blinds hung and the valances - it has made such a difference in the room. I hope to make a lot of progress today and MAYBE have some finished pics of the nursery/brooke by Sunday night! Keep your fingers crossed. So far, it is Bellissimo!!