Thursday, July 27, 2006

I went to work Thursday morning at 7:30 just like every other morning. At 10:02am my cell phone rang. I thought it might be my friend Robert because I had been waiting for him to call me back with some Fantasy Football information. We've been playing fantasy football for the last 3 years and it has become kind of an obsession. What can I say, it is possible that I am a touch competitive. This year, I was tasked with organizing our "live draft." Anyway that's not the point. So my cell phone rings at 10:02 I open up my hot pink flip phone and can see the name and number of our agency. Remember in my previous post how I said that I had been corresponding via e-mail with my agency so I would avoid this very unsettling feeling I was all of a sudden experiencing? My head began to race. Is this THE call? This can't be the call. Can it?? Hmmmmmm I think i finally managed to squeak out a, "hello."

It was our Oklahoma social worker on the other end and she was on speaker phone. In my head, my voice is echoing, oh my god oh my god oh my god please say "very important call" say I have someone very important for you to speak to." Use the code - please say the code! But instead, she said, "Jennifer, this is Dierdre, can you hear me?"She is on speaker phone - a very very good sign. I repeat to myself, "I am ok I am ok." Then she said that she is sitting there with Katherine. My heart sinks. Katherine?? Katherine?? She works there. Uh oh. Hair sample here we come. She goes on to tell me that Katherine has been working with a birth family and she took some profiles out to them last night and..................................THEY CHOSE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could say that I was calm and kept my wits about me but no, I did not. I rushed out of my office in hysterical tears. My editor looked up at me with much concern. I just mouthed to her, "We are going to have a baby!!!!!!!!"

I calmed myself down to get enough of the details, most of which I don't want to share here but this is what I will tell you. Katherine had been working with this birth mom since she found out she was pg. She is married and both her and her husband feel that they can not parent this child. They have made a very selfless decision out of completely pure love and hope for their child. Katherine said she showed the Birth mother and birth father our "black and whites," which you probably remember is just our answer to those questions - not the book. Katherine said, the birth mom "just fell in love with us." She didn't even feel the need to see our scrapbook - she knew we were the family to raise her baby. Katherine went ahead and showed her our book and she said that you could see "a peace come over her." Katherine went on to say that you could see her shoulders relax and this burden just come off of her. She closed the book and looked at the pics of J and me and Brooke and the little opening that had baby hand prints and the word "blessing." Katherine said the birth mom just started to cry out of happiness and said, "that's where their baby will be."

So let me give you a little more detail, we are meeting the birth family on Tuesday. Orginally they wanted no contact at all with the adoptive family. They have been betrayed by a lot of people in their lives and have serious trust issues. After reading about us and seeing our pictures they feel like they can trust meeting us. Our agency said this was a very good sign. As a matter of fact, given their history and the siutation, the agency said this is all a very good scenario and see no signs of them changing their mind. Of course, that can happen and we have to ALL prepare ourselves for that. They have 2 weeks once the baby is born to sign over parental rights. If that does not happen, and we lose this placement, then this is not our child. It wasn't meant to be. But I have to tell you that I am not one to feel overly optomistic about anything. I strive to protect myself from potential pain and loss but I too have a peace about this. I believe this is our child. And I can not wait to meet.....................................................HER!!!

That's right, Brooke is going to get her little sister! Thank goodness because she has been telling us repeatedly that she does NOT want a little brother - only a sister. Kate McKenzie Lacy(unless we change her name again) is due to arrive Labor Day weekend 2006. September 1st to be precise.

We have four weeks (unless she comes early) to prepare and all of sudden I am FREAKING out! There is so so much to do. You all have been so good to me in reading these self-indulgent ramblings. Thank you. We are humbled, once again, to ask for your continued prayers as our day draws closer.

Love to all!!!

Jenn


p.s. Looks like we are going to be needing this pretty soon!!