Bad mom vs cool mom

I want to be a good mom but i also want to be the cool mom. sometimes it is a fine line. Much easier with kate - right now i am her world and i LOVE it! But with Brooke it is different. She knows what is cool and what is not. We have a lot of rules here - probably more than she has ever had afterall, as i often remind her, keeping her safe is my number one job!
We use computer time as kind of a reward. She loves it - it can be educational and certainly good experience for her. She has her own folder with her bookmarks. Mostly she is on everythinggirl.com but last night I let her try a new site i had hard about called club penguin. I heard about it from a good mom friend. Guess what- this disney site has chat rooms. YIKES! Just the words chat and rooms freak me out. Defnitely too much to catch a predator for me but it is real. There are bad people out there and they want our children. I checked out that site and set the highest security. It honestly seems pretty safe. It isn't so much an open chat as it is you pick a couple of select phrases to post - like hi and what's up. But you can also add people to your "buddy" list but it is only good on that site. I feel pretty comfortable with it but still freaks me out. They grow up so fast - and the internet is so scary.I am trying my best to walk that line of "appearing" to be the super cool mom when in reality, I am watching every single move (behind the big curtain of course!)