So today wasn't the best day. Work was difficult- i didn't get everything done and I managed to piss more than a couple of people off. We got a HUGE packet from our adoption agency with LITERALLY 50 more pieces of paper to complete. Most of them are questions we have already answered 2 or 3 times before. They are now requiring an actual physical not just the letter our doctor had already written and they want more financial info. AND....they asked the dreaded question - how are you go to pay for this ?? Well truth is we don't know. We have some plans but mostly we have faith. I really let the whole thing get me down and started letting doubt creep in. How will we ever get through this? Will we ever answer all the questions? Will we ever get all the supporting documentation we need? Will this ever end?? Will we ever actually bring our baby home?? Will Jay and I be able to keep each other and our marriage strong. CAN WE DO THIS?? And then an odd thing happened. Jay got home from OKC from picking up Brooke. She walked in took a deep breath and said, "finally, I am home." I don't know why but in that moment, it made me think. really think. I know our baby is out there waiting. for us. And soon, we will all be able to take a deep breath and say, "finally, we are home." This is the absolute most faithful journey I have ever taken in my life. I need a plan and right now I don't have one. I know how it will end but I don't know how I will get there. That's scary to me but right now, it's all I have got.
As if I needed another reminder of why we are doing this, I sat outside this evening and watch Brooke and Gordie play. They were sitting down by the peach tree - waiting for the peaches to get ripe. I went in and got a popsicle for the 2 to share - I had to grab this pic. It makes me smile, hope it does the same for you.
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