So right before the end of the year we started our research. Just for fun sometime, google the word adoption and see what you get. Figure it out yet? The www is great but sometimes there is just way to much info out there. So we decided to go the old-fashioned way - our local phone book. Hmmm under adoption there is one attorney which I think I have heard of and for some reason, I don't think what I heard was good. So I turn to attorneys - ever done that before? It is the tangible equivalent of googling attorneys. As a matter of fact, if it weren't for the attorney heading, I am pretty sure the yellow pages would be pocket size. Some attorneys mentioned family law and child custody as well as adoption. I took the plunge and made some calls. Let me say, I called all of them (or both) and left a message - I heard back from neither. Back to googling.I narrowed my search and found an agency right here in my town - I called them and got to speak to a real live person. Can you imagine? I didn't even realize their were businesses left that had actual human beings answering their phones. Maybe the computer was broken. Didn't matter - I was impressed. I am a sucker for that personal touch. The woman on the phone was very, very sweet and helpful. She answered many of my questions. of course, just starting off there were 2 questions I needed to know.

Question 1. How long before I can have my baby?

Question 2. How much will this cost?

In that order of course. So, when the real live human being answered my first question with the magical "9 months" answer, I did not even need to know the answer to number 2. All I needed to know was that in 9 months, I was going to be a mother. Hey, it is just like I am pregnant without the morning sickness, weight gain and all that other fun pregnancy stuff. Why had I wasted so much time trying to conceive. Why did anybody? This was too easy. Sign me up. But then it hit me, hmmmmmm maybe Mr. J might want to know a little more detail. That is the thing with him, he is a detail kinda guy. I proceeded with question 2 although I took the sneaky approach. I thought I will hit them with a way high dollar amount and when they tell me the cost is significantly lower, it will sound that much better. So I asked, "how much should this run from start to finish, $10,000? $15,000? " Ummmm no. $30,000 + birth mom's living expenses - housing, car, drs bills, maternity clothes, healthy food. Yikes! I know what you are thinking how on earth could we afford that? Well not me, I was worried how I was going to "sell" this $30,000 + expense to my detail-oriented, financial-guru darling husband. I am good but I not that good. I tried anyway, afterall, I was having a $30,000 + baby in 9 months. I need to get busy.
Now I can tell you how the conversation went but I will spare you. Wasn't pretty. Reality was, there was no way we could afford $30,000 or more right now unless there was a damn good installment plan.
So Christmas came and went and we were right back where we started from. The holidays hit me hard this year. Very hard. My parents had just gotten divorced after almost 38yrs marriage, I was still without child and for the first time in a long time, I was without hope. One Saturday, I was in a pretty dark place, I was just so sad. Mr J in his infinite wisdom decided to take me to the bookstore - a skinny green tea chai and a good book - my world does not get happier than that. We went to Borders and I started the adoption research all over. Of course, the adoption books can be found nestled right between "What to expect when you are expecting" and Everybody Poops." Both of them. 2 books on adoption. that was it. One was a book of adoption stories and the other one, "The Idiot's Guide." the Idiot's Guide seemed like the obvious choice. We spent some time just browsing through it only to find not much more info than we already knew. Idiot guide indeed. In the back, there was a list of adoption agencies. that was the first time I had seen something like that. Of course, there was nothing in our current home state of Kansas but there was an interesting listing in our actual home state of Oklahoma. Deaconess Home Pregnancy & Adoption Services. Wow! Deaconess Hospital is where Mr. J's mom worked for years + atleast one of my nieces and my brother were born in that hospital. Does anyone else see the bright flashing neon sign??? We tried to call them right then and there in the middle of Borders. No answer. Imagine that 7:30pm on a Sunday.
The next day, Mr J called again and guess what? He talked to someone, and he like them. They were more helpful than even the $30,000 agency so he asked the 2 questions.

1. How long?

2. How much?

The first answer seemed more honest than the previous coincidental 9 months figure. He was told their families have waited anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 years. That seems honest.

The second answer? About $15,000-$20,000. What?? That is half price?? Neither Mr. J nor I can resist a sale. Especially half off! Sign us up.

It's that easy, right? Forget the fact that we don't actually have $20,000. Even if we did, it is not that easy. There is a process. A long and tedious process.